A principal I have found incredibly essential in cultivating an intimate relationship with God is solitude. Jesus practices this over and over. There are different ways to practice solitude. “The purpose of the Spiritual Disciplines,” Richard Foster says,  “is the total transformation of the person…” by “…replacing old destructive habits of thought with new life-giving habits.”

I like to paraphrase him this way: Know what should be held tight (principles) and what you can hold loosely (specific practices). There will be times when a practice or habit no longer is life-giving and may need to be jettisoned or reworked in order to regain the intent behind the principle. 

The Principle: Solitude

Solitude is being removed from external stimulation and distraction to know oneself and create space for communion with the God, the Holy One.

Solitude often has a companion: silence. These two things work well together to help remove distractions. Meditative practices can be helpful, but unlike many forms of meditation, the goal is not to empty ourselves completely or to find our inner peace, but  rather to remove or empty the distractions making way for the Holy Spirit to fill us. The peace we experience is not made of our own making but is the peace of God which transcends all understanding. Practices could range from intentional moments of solitude to longer multi day retreats. The important thing is not finding the perfect practice but rather building some sort of solitude practice into our regular rhythms. As an extrovert, I find solitude and silence both incredibly difficult to cultivate. I want to fill my life with noise and people. Perhaps you are not like this and solitude comes more naturally. Still, you need to cultivate an intentional solitude practice; one that is not selfish or borne out of avoiding healthy interactions with others.

The Practice: Centering Prayer

Centering prayer, sometimes called contemplative prayer, involves setting aside a period of time to be in silence.

This silent and wordless prayer time is about surrender and trusting God by letting go of thoughts which come to our mind.

I recommend you get some instruction from a spiritual mentor or teacher on how to practice Centering Prayer.

I begin my day in the morning with 15 minutes and have so many crazy thoughts that I spend most of my time acknowledging them and releasing them. If my day for some reason doesn’t allow me to start with my SIT, ending my day with the SIT is usually spent letting go of emotions I have felt or things left undone from the day.

The goal or object is not to be empty (like many forms of meditation) but to practice surrendering control of our lives to God. Trust requires that we simply let go and let God. This is much easier to say than do, so the daily Centering Prayer conditions me to be better.

The spiritual teacher who taught me Centering Prayer, Joe Stabile, says, “When we practice Centering Prayer every day…it changes from being a place we go to and becomes where we come from.”

You can find more info about the Centering Prayer teaching by Joe Stabile here.

You can also find morning and evening prayer guides by Brian Zahnd and Word of Life Church that are helpful “preparation” and “re-entry” prayers to do before and after your contemplative SIT. I don’t always do a full set of Scripture reading and prayers before my SIT but I did find the more robust practice helpful when I first started. It is very hard to clear your mind without some preparation.